So I'm a seasoned mom, right? Five kids. I "get" babies. I'm a certified birth doula. So... Right, btdt. But I was reminded about those new mom jitters recently and I want to jot down a little for you. So, we are going through a big move right now. We are selling our house and moving to a bigger one that just may be our forever home. This move feels like a massive change and I find my mind running in circles: "What it something major is wrong with the house that we didn't find in the inspection?" "What if we move in and decide the old house was way better?" "What if we can't afford the new house?" "What if it's too much house to take care of?" These thoughts go on and on and on and on and on. I feel like a bride with cold feet.
Logically, I know it will be just fine. But there is still a fear of the unknown. That unknown throws me back to being a bride-to-be and especially a mommy-to-be and it makes me want to write this to you, expectant mama:
Dear first time mom,
I remember the excitement, but the uncertainty of adding a little life to our family for the first time. I distinctly remember being in labor and hitting a wall. I thought about how I longed to be sitting in my apartment, on the couch, swollen and uncomfortable, and baby-free. In that moment, that image felt glorious. Labor wasn't fun and I was a bit fearful of this tiny life being handed to me, forever and ever. Pregnant on my couch was safe, just like my trusty old townhouse is safe. The responsibility of something new is heavy, even when you have prepared perfectly!
So to your nerves and your jitters about labor and becoming a mom I will say this: you will do WONDERFULLY.
Say it with me: "I will do WONDERFULLY." Repeat as needed until you believe yourself.
I promise it is true.
I really do.
I remember that wonder. I remember that worry. I remember that weight.
But you can do it. You will rock labor and your mother's heart will lead you through those early days.
It's not always a cake walk, but all good things are worth the effort.
There will be sleepless nights. There will be new challenges. There will be parts that come effortlessly and there will be parts that you wonder why nobody warned you! There will be joys and there will be tears (darn hormones!). But I know this without a doubt: you've got this. I did it and I went on to add four more people to my mix after that first baby. Each time, it was an adjustment. There were points that I felt like I was treading water, just keeping my head above, and points where I held my head high and felt invincible. Regardless of how I felt at any stage, I always made it through and my kids always thrived. Yours will too.
Not to get religious on you, but bear with me... God entrusted this life to YOU. Your baby wasn't entrusted to me. That baby wasn't entrusted to your sage-advice-giving friend or well-meaning mother in law. That baby was entrusted to you. You alone are the one who knows what is best for that sweet baby. Let's be real: it may feel overwhelming to have unknowns ahead. I know. It can feel scary, but you've got this. You were made for this.
Be confident in your status as that baby's mommy. Prepare your heart and mind for the undertaking that is labor, birth, and motherhood. Did you get a doula? Get a doula. (Sorry, I had to) And enjoy the ride. I love watching new moms become seasoned moms... it's a beautiful change in spirit. It's your turn now. Take a deep breath, love that new little life and go get 'em, mama.
A doula who has been there herself.
Baby Love Blog
Here lies a stream of consciousness regarding, pregnancy, birth, babies, and my doula business...